自己寫的英文小遙介紹,如果有錯文法請指教

may_ag · 發表於 19/4/2010 10:15 PM

本帖最後由 may_ag 於 22/4/2010 08:35 PM 編輯

May is a daughter of Gym leader Norman  . Her career is a coordinator.
when her started her tainer'sife,she met Ash and  ill Pikachu.
After they cured Pikachu ,they became friends and traveled  together.
She was expected to become a trainer ,and  followed in her father's footsteps.
However,Had been the  assistiant of Janet in a contest,She started to love contest.She decided to become a coordinator.

Few day after may has met Ash,Block and Her younger borther Max joined their journey.
May often quarrel with Max,However,they love each other in their heart.
One day ,Max was lost,May willed to give up her Grand Festival (final contest) in order to find him .

待星期三續
May has even pokemons,including Blaziken, Skitty, Beautifly, Munchlax, Bulbasaur, Eevee, Squirtle.
Blaziken is May first pokemon,he was given by Professor Brich.
In the journey, May met skitty, Bulbasaur ans Squirtle respectively, they decided to go with May.
May thought Janet's Beautifly was very lovely,therefore the she  captured a wurmple and after a few days the wurmple  evolved to beautifly.
Munchlax ate May's pokeball accidentally,then he became May's pokemon.

Eevee was  hatched from an egg which was given by a friend of May.

Treecko · 發表於 19/4/2010 10:38 PM

May is the daughter of Gym leader Norman .Her career is coordinator.
At the day of her to start her tainer life,she meet ash and abnormal pikachu.
After they cure pikachu ,they become friend and tr ...
may_ag 發表於 19/4/2010 10:15 PM

登錄/註冊後可看大圖

[fly][無視]人名請用大寫[無視][/fly]
基本上沒錯,見議加上Drew為rival&其興趣為吃東西

may_ag · 發表於 19/4/2010 10:53 PM

謝
我答應了自己每星期一,三,五寫100字英文
星期三會續寫'

abcsexman · 發表於 20/4/2010 08:00 AM

本帖最後由 abcsexman 於 21/4/2010 07:03 AM 編輯

May is the daughter of Gym leader Norman .Her career is coordinator.
At the day of her to start her tainer life,she meet Ash and abnormal pikachu.
After they cure Pikachu ,they become friend and tr ...
may_ag 發表於 19/4/2010 10:15 PM

登錄/註冊後可看大圖

nice job!
you might want to change some lines to make it sound better
and there's some miss typing. A tip for you always reread your paper,
and use Word to correct your mistake.

On the day she started her trainer life, she met Ash and his abnormal Pikachu.

I only fixed one line for you.
I try to keep the original, but there's still some mistake.
I want you to find it yourself, it is a good way to practice.
"MISS TYPING?" "PAST TENSE?"

彩虹狙擊手 · 發表於 20/4/2010 09:54 AM

At the day of her to start her tainer life

這句很怪，但說不出問題所在，大概是前後連接怪怪的
如果我是你直接用When she starts...

she meet Ash and abnormal pikachu.

第三身單數，動詞請變

follow in her father footsteps.

至少也是her father's吧

After she being the assiant of Janet in a contest

刪去After she比較好看

She start to love contest

同樣，第三身單數

She decided to become a coordinator.

decided沒記錯是adj，決定的動詞該是decide，然後第三身單數
還有後半，become改為be才正確

A few day

few days…

May willing to give up

漏了主動詞，willing是adj

大概看到這些，感覺上寫得不太好，很多文句也像用中文直接翻譯過來
不要逐個字來翻譯吧，把整句一次過轉來英語
而且不少是careless mistake，要留意

Tenchu. · 發表於 20/4/2010 11:02 AM

May isadaughter ofagym leader,Norman. Her career isa Pokemoncoordinator.
Onthe day ofher tostartinghertrainerlife, shemetAsh andanabnormalPikachu.
After theycuredthePikachu, theybecamefriendsandtraveledtogether.
Shewasexpected to become a trainer ,andfollowedin her father'sfootsteps.
However,after shetried to be anassiant of Janet in a contest,shestart tolovedcontest. She decided to becomea Pokemoncoordinator. (下? 前面唔係話佢已經係協調員咩?

A few daysaftershemetAsh, Block andher younger borther Max joinedtheir journey.
May oftenquarreledwith Max,however, theylovedeach othertruly.
One day ,Max was lost, Maywaswilling to give up herimportantcontest in order to find him .

用英文係好嘗識. 但係無點練過就po文並不可取.
要練其實可以由每日寫英文日記開始
同埋寫完煩請自己讀一次, 或者好似4樓話齋用word睇睇有咩錯
唔係既話棧曬大家時間幫你改.

grammar 問題太多不在話下, 反正你仲有時間改( ? )
但係內容真係一舊舊, 無睇過pkm就真係睇到一舊雲.
簡單黎講, 介紹人既文章最好有頭, 有身, 有尾
你有頭, 但係個身麻麻, 個尾仲唔見埋.
慢慢黎啦, 年輕人, 唔駛急

may_ag · 發表於 20/4/2010 07:04 PM

本帖最後由 may_ag 於 20/4/2010 07:42 PM 編輯

5# 彩虹狙擊手
謝謝,但decided是過去式

Tenchu.
請問首句為什麼不能用the daughter
如果視比卡超為人,不用加a

Tenchu. · 發表於 21/4/2010 05:09 AM

>>#7

你可以當Pikachu 係人或生物,
但係人或生物, 第一次提及的話一定要a/an
(指整個品種的話, 另計)

麻煩讀多d grammar書 - -

abcsexman · 發表於 21/4/2010 07:03 AM

本帖最後由 abcsexman 於 21/4/2010 07:10 AM 編輯

yes, you have to use a/an here
btw you can't pretend something is not human to be human

if you think using a/an to descirbe Pikachu is to dead
you can add some more details to thins sentence

such as, Ash and his friend Pikachu

cy_lee96 · 發表於 21/4/2010 06:09 PM

本帖最後由 cy_lee96 於 22/4/2010 04:54 PM 編輯

May is a daughter of Gym leader Norman .Her career is coordinator.
when her started her tainer'sife,she met Ash and an abnormal pikachu.
After they cured Pikachu ,they became friends and traveled ...
may_ag 發表於 19/4/2010 10:15 PM

登錄/註冊後可看大圖

May isthedaughter of Gym leader Norman. Her career isacoordinator. Whenshestarted hertrainer's life(或Just at the beginning of her trainer's life, ...),she met Ash and an*abnormal Pikachu. AfterMay and Ashcured Pikachu,May and that Pikachubecame friends,and they started travellingtogether...She was expected to become a trainer ,and followed in her father'sfootstep.
However,Had been theassiant(這是什麼字? Assistant?)of Janet in a contest(完全不明白整句的意思),she startedfalling inlovewith thecontest. She decided to become a coordinator.
Few daysafter, MayX(has)Xmet Ash, Block andher youngerbrotherMax joinedherjourney.
May often quarrelledwith Maxbutin fact, theyactually loved each other. For an example,one day, Max was lost.Mayeven choseto give up her Grand Festival (final contest) in order to find him .

*什麼abnormal?? 你究竟想形容他為什麼? 變態, 不正常, 有問題??? 如你想形容他是獨特的, 你可以用 unique這字如你想形容他為有病的, 可改用 unwell/ sick/ ill.

總括來說... 錯漏百出... Grammar 錯了很多, 而且記得在每個標點符號後, 隔一格才繼續打。這是一般打英文的標準格式! 還有就是they的用法不夠清晰! 你指theybecame friends...意思是ash 跟may became friends 還是 ash, may+pikachu became friends??? 我卻認為你所想表示的是may+pikachu became friends, 對嗎? 因此幫你改成May and that Pikachu

不過你有決心去嘗試每星期一,三,五寫100字英文, 這是值得鼓勵的!!! 加油!!

PS: Useful website for you:
Longman Dictionary http://www.ldoceonline.com/

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